Sweet Lemons

As some may have noticed, I haven't uploaded on this blog for a while.  I have made the decision to move to a newer website. I have added many new pieces to that website and am hoping you will make the move with me! I am still in possession of Sweet Lemons as it is on this blog, the other website just gave it all a new look. Here's the link: milinair.substack.com See you there!

Live life as life Good and bad Tragedies? Be sad Blessings? Be glad Flow with the flow Only to let go Let it all be yours But know its never yours Don't be afraid  Risk it all till it fades Rise to the stars But stay on the ground Live life as life

*** This story does provide some Indian background of an Indian household. I wanted to give some context to what a few things I mentioned mean. Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham is a hit Hindi movie from 2001 that is a rom-com. Kheer is a north Indian version of rice pudding. Nani is the north Indian way of referring to one’s mother’s mom (grandmother on mom’s side) Dal is an Indian lentil dish. Chole is an Indian chickpea dish. Malaysian paratha is an Indian bread that is served with dishes such as Dal and Chole. Gulab jamun is a traditional Indian sweet. Kuch Kuch Hota Hai is a hit Hindi movie from 1998 that is a rom-com.      I sit there, with my cozy blanket wrapped around me, watching Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham, listening to the soft pitter patter of the rain outside my window, glancing at the brightly lit up Christmas tree in our living room, and filling my mouth with each bite of the warm and fresh kheer my Nani had made for me. We had just gotten back from a trip and I was r...

I see colors and displays made with great passion and curiosity. I think about the pain and sacrifice as well as the heart and spirit that went into it all in a matter of seconds to weeks. I wonder how through everything we humans are and everything we destroy, that spirit seems to find its way through. And we call that spirit, art . -Mili Nair

I see so much wisdom gained through experiences in this world. I think wisdom should be shared in schools. I wonder if we can create a very different world by doing that. A world of wonders and unconditional love for every being and all nature. -anonymous

I see a mirror. I think and ask why is he in there? I wonder if he will ever make it out... -anonymous 

     I excitedly pressed the red button on my mom's phone to start the video recording on the camera app, then rushed over to the Alexa on the other side of our black marble kitchen counter. I requested the Bollywood radio station that I had memorized due to my dad playing it every time we cooked, danced, and just lived ever since we moved into this house. As a Hindi song started playing that I had a memory of listening to before, I skipped to the center of the kitchen and stood on the tan, plain wood floor as I double-checked to see if the camera was recording my every move. When I was sure it was, I started wiggling my fingers and legs in every which way possible to recreate some of the Bollywood dances I had seen in movies. With each word sung on the radio station, I would pause in the most dramatic ways, like I was a famous actress performing live for millions. I spun, twirled, and whirled, swayed all ways, a...

Happiness, otherwise known as coming home from a long day to freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, or staring at that super popular girl who sits in front of you and wishing you had her life. What if it was more than that? What if it was real? What if you didn’t need those cookies or that girl’s life to be happy? When you think of happiness, you often think of something that fills a void, but does anyone ever stop to ask why there’s a void in the first place? Why is there always something to fix? I think that we create those voids for ourselves and stuff them with everything else to be “happy.” I believe happiness is being able to indeed be happy without anything or anyone pleasing you in any way. I believe that to be one of the most important values. To start off, I find happiness to be the center of life, without it, everything seems meaningless. Everything I am, say, and do is because that is my choice. No one controls it unless I give it to them, but it’s not mine to take from othe...

  To the blessings around you that shall vary, say wow. To this very moment of now, say wow. To the love and joy, you may carry, say wow. To the anger and despair, you may hold, say wow. To each one that you cherish, say wow. To deaths of all the happiness, say wow. To everything that was made to perish, say wow. To all the love that can never be broken, say wow. To the person you are that has been made up of everything you have experienced, lived, and sacrificed, say wow. For all we can ever do is say wow.

When I think of the word perfect, I think of something only a few can achieve, like high beauty standards, the super-smart girl in my class, or anything that I can compare myself to. For a few weeks now, I have been noticing this one girl who is in a few of my middle school classes. She has fabulous long dark brown hair, big hazel eyes, and the most beautiful face. She always wears the prettiest outfits and seems to be the most popular girl in school, at least in my point of view. It seems like she has a perfect life, lots of friends, all A's, and everything anyone could ever want. One day, I was in language arts talking to my teacher about one of the upcoming tests, when I saw the girl staring at me in this weird way. I immediately started to freak out and think, "Why is she looking at me? Did I do something wrong? Is my hair messed up?" When the class was dismissed and everyone was rushing to their next class, she caught up to me and said, "I just thought you shoul...

Why shall I share my worth with you, My mind, soul, and spirit, My pain and blues, My hope and joy for tomorrow, My sense of innocent wonder, My wisdom of life, My weakness of what lies under, The strengths that hold me upright, Followed by my ego, My wrongdoings, And my lessons to learn to let go, The knowledge I have as everything but human, As well as only ever human, The questions I asked as a child, And the questions I ask today, But, I shall not share my love? What do I owe to one that shares a purpose with me, but not a path, For all that can be is love.

An unexpected hug from a friend when you need it, An unexpected star that lightens up the night, An unexpected story that seems to piece the puzzles in a great fit, An unexpected cookie made to wipe away your tears, An unexpected heartbreak that sets you free from the pain, An unexpected joke that fills the hole in your day, An unexpected hand to pull you out of the rain, An unexpected expectation leading to the feeling of your soul being full, Only if it were truly unexpected.

Have you ever experienced a moment of plain bliss? A moment where you are fully there, enjoying everything and anything coming your way. The type of moment where it almost feels like a dream, something so simple yet strangely amazing. For me, that moment speaks on its own, with no words said it shines brighter than anything. One of the winters, when it was supposed to be in a snowy magical wonderland where everywhere you step you sink into a pit of snow that pulls you into the warm feeling of hot cocoa next to the fire, my parents decided to take me to Mexico for a sunny winter break on the beach. After a few days of settling in at the hotel, we decided to go for a walk in the downtown streets of Puerto Vallarta.  We drove a few blocks downtown trying to find a parking space in the crowded streets. I squealed with excitement as I looked out the water-stained window to see bright glowing colors that were surrounded by music and lights. I opened the car door and stepped onto the bric...

I am the grass among flowers. I am the world put together. I am the thoughts that shower. I am a part of a puzzle that is yet to be solved. I am those around you filled with heart and soul. I am the greed and envy you shall hold. I am nothing you can control. I am the whole universe itself. I am a gaze of love. I am the ground at your feet. I am the clouds above. I am everything. I am nothing. I am all.

Live for the dusk morning sky, you wake up to. Live for the cheesy dad jokes you laugh through. Live for the stars that twinkle with light. Live for the hand you hold through each fight. Live for the flowers that glaze through the winds. Live for hope through all the sins.  Live for the ocean's water splashing at your toes. Live for not the thorns, but the rose. Live for not the place but the path. Live for the love, not the wrath. Live for nothing more, nothing less. Live for the little things.

       As she stands in front of the mirror and looks at the reflection of her body, she stares at the mask. The mask that shows a carefree girl who has everything going right for her. She has no fears and is set for success and accomplishment in everything and anything. She is that perfect girl that is starred in every movie and episode on every T.V. channel. Underneath her mask, lies despair and hate for herself. The hate of her looks, the hate of her mind, her actions, her soul, and everything she can possibly blame for not being good enough. And she will never be good enough because she is constantly telling herself that she needs to be like someone else. She keeps torturing herself with thoughts that tear her down, that make her want to scream and shout, but she can't. She can only be seen as what the mask's surface shows.      As she stares at what lies underneath, she tries to mumble words. Any word that could make her feel anything but mis...

To have all the wisdom, yet know nothing at all.  To rule the world with power, yet be the weakest.  To do everything perfectly, but only to fall.  To represent all in one, yet only you.  To notice yourself surrounded, yet alone.  To see everything clearly, yet not see-through.  To be all you are, yet nothing.  Only to be you.

     As a teenager, I am experiencing life as it's thrown at me, bitter and sweet. I have and do struggle with accepting myself like many others do. The acceptance of my looks, my past, my actions, my mind, my life, the people in my life, and what I can or cannot change. Through some of my experiences, I have somewhat realized that I am me. I am Mili Nair, nothing more and nothing less, and I love that. In this blog, I hope to share my process of loving myself and some of the most beautiful aspects of life that I have come to cherish. My hope is to use this experience to help others learn from their own stories.      All this blog is really about is accepting your lemons and turning them into lemonade. :)