The Mask

     As she stands in front of the mirror and looks at the reflection of her body, she stares at the mask. The mask that shows a carefree girl who has everything going right for her. She has no fears and is set for success and accomplishment in everything and anything. She is that perfect girl that is starred in every movie and episode on every T.V. channel. Underneath her mask, lies despair and hate for herself. The hate of her looks, the hate of her mind, her actions, her soul, and everything she can possibly blame for not being good enough. And she will never be good enough because she is constantly telling herself that she needs to be like someone else. She keeps torturing herself with thoughts that tear her down, that make her want to scream and shout, but she can't. She can only be seen as what the mask's surface shows. 

    As she stares at what lies underneath, she tries to mumble words. Any word that could make her feel anything but miserable. Nothing works. No possible words can describe or fix what she has put herself through. As she stands there, she begins to feel tears rolling down her rosy cheeks. At that moment, she hears footsteps approaching the locked bathroom she was in. She quickly wipes her tears away and puts back on the mask that she is sick of wearing. She kindly opens the door and goes on with her day as if nothing were to have happened. 

    Days, months, and years later, she somehow always finds herself in that same bathroom with those same feelings and tears. Though, she avoids taking off the mask and dealing with what's underneath because it is only to be pushed down deeper and deeper into her soul. It becomes heavier and heavier as she keeps adding more hate and anger. And soon... it pops. It becomes unavoidable leading her to be in the same bathroom wiping her tears away once again. She slowly takes off the mask that has been covering her up, revealing who she really is. She rips apart the mask, crying and shouting because no matter what she does she is filled with pain and hate. She feels torn up and burnt, but doesn't want to show anyone what lies under the mask. 

    As she looks down at the pieces of the mask in her hands she realizes that she can no longer live like this. She looks back at her reflection and mumbles three of the hardest words to say "I love you". But she doesn't mean it. She knows she doesn't mean it. She knows that she will never love herself because of the horrible person she is, because she could never live up to those standards she created, and because she is to blame. She throws herself on the floor and cries every tear she can. 

    While laying there, she starts to think "why"? Why can't she love herself? Why can't she be beautiful as she is? Why does she have to make impossible standards for herself and blame herself when she doesn't reach them? She begins to say out loud, "I am beautiful. I am unique. I am me." She stands up, her hands shaking, looks at her reflection again, and says "I let go of every standard I have ever accused myself of not living up to. I let go of all the hate I have for myself. I let go of my despair and insecurities. And I accept myself. I accept the real me." With those words, she picked up the pieces of the mask she once wore and threw them in the tiny garbage bin in the corner of her bathroom. She wipes away her tears, one last time, and walks out the door of that bathroom, leaving all of her hate behind and only taking love with her. 

    Years later, that same girl slowly walks into the bathroom where she dreaded herself many times before. She looks into the mirror and says "I love you" with a gigantic smile across her face. As she feels tears running downs her face, she knows she has finally accepted herself to be that perfect girl she compared herself to.