Sweet Lemons

An unexpected hug from a friend when you need it, An unexpected star that lightens up the night, An unexpected story that seems to piece the puzzles in a great fit, An unexpected cookie made to wipe away your tears, An unexpected heartbreak that sets you free from the pain, An unexpected joke that fills the hole in your day, An unexpected hand to pull you out of the rain, An unexpected expectation leading to the feeling of your soul being full, Only if it were truly unexpected.

Have you ever experienced a moment of plain bliss? A moment where you are fully there, enjoying everything and anything coming your way. The type of moment where it almost feels like a dream, something so simple yet strangely amazing. For me, that moment speaks on its own, with no words said it shines brighter than anything. One of the winters, when it was supposed to be in a snowy magical wonderland where everywhere you step you sink into a pit of snow that pulls you into the warm feeling of hot cocoa next to the fire, my parents decided to take me to Mexico for a sunny winter break on the beach. After a few days of settling in at the hotel, we decided to go for a walk in the downtown streets of Puerto Vallarta.  We drove a few blocks downtown trying to find a parking space in the crowded streets. I squealed with excitement as I looked out the water-stained window to see bright glowing colors that were surrounded by music and lights. I opened the car door and stepped onto the bric...

I am the grass among flowers. I am the world put together. I am the thoughts that shower. I am a part of a puzzle that is yet to be solved. I am those around you filled with heart and soul. I am the greed and envy you shall hold. I am nothing you can control. I am the whole universe itself. I am a gaze of love. I am the ground at your feet. I am the clouds above. I am everything. I am nothing. I am all.

Live for the dusk morning sky, you wake up to. Live for the cheesy dad jokes you laugh through. Live for the stars that twinkle with light. Live for the hand you hold through each fight. Live for the flowers that glaze through the winds. Live for hope through all the sins.  Live for the ocean's water splashing at your toes. Live for not the thorns, but the rose. Live for not the place but the path. Live for the love, not the wrath. Live for nothing more, nothing less. Live for the little things.

       As she stands in front of the mirror and looks at the reflection of her body, she stares at the mask. The mask that shows a carefree girl who has everything going right for her. She has no fears and is set for success and accomplishment in everything and anything. She is that perfect girl that is starred in every movie and episode on every T.V. channel. Underneath her mask, lies despair and hate for herself. The hate of her looks, the hate of her mind, her actions, her soul, and everything she can possibly blame for not being good enough. And she will never be good enough because she is constantly telling herself that she needs to be like someone else. She keeps torturing herself with thoughts that tear her down, that make her want to scream and shout, but she can't. She can only be seen as what the mask's surface shows.      As she stares at what lies underneath, she tries to mumble words. Any word that could make her feel anything but mis...

To have all the wisdom, yet know nothing at all.  To rule the world with power, yet be the weakest.  To do everything perfectly, but only to fall.  To represent all in one, yet only you.  To notice yourself surrounded, yet alone.  To see everything clearly, yet not see-through.  To be all you are, yet nothing.  Only to be you.

     As a teenager, I am experiencing life as it's thrown at me, bitter and sweet. I have and do struggle with accepting myself like many others do. The acceptance of my looks, my past, my actions, my mind, my life, the people in my life, and what I can or cannot change. Through some of my experiences, I have somewhat realized that I am me. I am Mili Nair, nothing more and nothing less, and I love that. In this blog, I hope to share my process of loving myself and some of the most beautiful aspects of life that I have come to cherish. My hope is to use this experience to help others learn from their own stories.      All this blog is really about is accepting your lemons and turning them into lemonade. :)